Over Due Epiphany
Before these past two weeks, I would have told you that I trusted God completely. I moved to Africa because He told me to, I believed that He would provide my finances for me to stay, I stepped into a job that I felt completely unprepared to do, I've stayed committed through difficult personal experiences, and I really never doubted that God wouldn't come through for me. The list seemed to show that I trusted Him. But...
God and I have been dealing with some trust issues in the last two weeks.
Two weeks ago, trusting someone else was defined to me as: believing that the other person had your best interest at heart and would protect you.
I began to doubt that God has my best interest at heart. He sometimes asks me to do things that don't benefit me at all and only benefit others and He doesn't always protect me from bad things. So I began to question, if God doesn't have my best interest at heart and He doesn't always protect me, how can He be trusted?
These past two weeks have been long and confusing, yet so rewarding! I have received a fuller, more complete understanding of what it means to trust God and who God really is. My trust before was selfish and consumed with preserving myself, but that is not what Christianity is about. If God was consumed with my best interest then I would be the center of the relationship. I would be god. God can only be consumed with HIS best interest and that is GOOD, because it makes Him God. Christianity is about laying my life down and trusting that God will glorify Himself through it. He never forces me to lay my life down, but I offer my life, my interest, my self (whatever you want to call it) out of love. That's true trust. He has revealed so much more, but out of sake of space I'll stop here.Labels: Spiritual
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