God Does Everything Better

Why do I try to do God's job when He does it so much better than I can do?

Recently I've been facing new challenges living in America. This past week has been the hardest yet. I didn't realize how hard it was until yesterday when Josh asked me, "What’s wrong? You seem to be overwhelmed these past few days."

Tears began to well up in my eyes and I just clung to him. It was one of the longest hugs I've had since I've been here, but it just didn't ease the dullness I felt. "I’ll be fine," is all I could muster. I’m sure he didn't buy that, but he had to return to work and left. I had a long list of things to do and so I began to head out the door as well. As I reached for the door knob it was almost as if everything inside of me began to break down. I couldn't leave. I was frozen and almost instantly I began to sob. I thought I was going crazy.

Thankfully God let Josh forget his computer and twenty minutes later Josh rushed in to grab it. After one look at me, he detoured from his computer and scooped me up in his arms. "I don't know why I'm crying…I don't feel normal…I don't want this job…everything is difficult," I barely was able to make out through my sobs.

After sifting through my emotions we easily came to the conclusion for my unrest. I had recently agreed to take a job position as a personal assistant. I never really felt comfortable about it, but needed a job and so I said yes.

I felt I had found a job and so I should take it. I didn't realize I was making myself sick from worrying that I couldn't find another one if I let this one go. I wasn't trusting God to provide the right position. I was just grabbing at whatever came my way. I didn't want to be jobless nor did I want people to think I was lazy and so I took the position (even though it made me uncomfortable).

As soon as I realized that I didn't have to take the position and decided to pass on the job, Peace came. It was if I had been enclosed in a small yard with a tall fence. I felt claustrophobic and everything was closing on top of me. But as soon as I took my eyes off the fence and focused on God the fence fell down. I didn't feel frightened or nervous anymore. Instead I felt light, free, and calm.

Twenty minutes later I had an interview and moved into the final stages of another position that I had been wanting. Why do I try to do God's job when He does it so much better than I do?

Labels: Fears, Life, Spiritual