Why do I try to do God's job when He does it so much better than I can do?
Recently I've been facing new challenges living in America.This past week has been the hardest yet.I didn't realize how hard it was until yesterday when Josh asked me, "What’s wrong?You seem to be overwhelmed these past few days."
Tears began to well up in my eyes and I just clung to him.It was one of the longest hugs I've had since I've been here, but it just didn't ease the dullness I felt. "I’ll be fine," is all I could muster.I’m sure he didn't buy that, but he had to return to work and left.I had a long list of things to do and so I began to head out the door as well.As I reached for the door knob it was almost as if everything inside of me began to break down.I couldn't leave.I was frozen and almost instantly I began to sob.I thought I was going crazy.
Thankfully God let Josh forget his computer and twenty minutes later Josh rushed in to grab it.After one look at me, he detoured from his computer and scooped me up in his arms. "I don't know why I'm crying…I don't feel normal…I don't want this job…everything is difficult," I barely was able to make out through my sobs.
After sifting through my emotions we easily came to the conclusion for my unrest.I had recently agreed to take a job position as a personal assistant.I never really felt comfortable about it, but needed a job and so I said yes.
I felt I had found a job and so I should take it.I didn't realize I was making myself sick from worrying that I couldn't find another one if I let this one go.I wasn't trusting God to provide the right position.I was just grabbing at whatever came my way.I didn't want to be jobless nor did I want people to think I was lazy and so I took the position (even though it made me uncomfortable).
As soon as I realized that I didn't have to take the position and decided to pass on the job, Peace came.It was if I had been enclosed in a small yard with a tall fence. I felt claustrophobic and everything was closing on top of me.But as soon as I took my eyes off the fence and focused on God the fence fell down.I didn't feel frightened or nervous anymore.Instead I felt light, free, and calm.
Twenty minutes later I had an interview and moved into the final stages of another position that I had been wanting.Why do I try to do God's job when He does it so much better than I do?
Lately I've been having a lot "missionary moments". Earlier this week, Kelly, Aimee and I were watching a movie one night and all of a sudden we all heard an airplane. Without thinking we paused the movie so we could listen to it, jumped off the couch and ran outside. Once outside we immediately began searching the dark cloudy sky hoping to catch a glimpse of the plane. Each of us speculated why it was near us and wondered out loud why we couldn't see it. Needless to say, we all started laughing once we realized what just occurred.
What's so wrong about frost in November? Well, techinically it is summer here in South Africa. Last Saturday it was about 90 degrees and then four days later there is frost. I had even packed up all my winter clothes and had to pull out scarfs, gloves, and my winter coat. Luckily, the cold weather only lasted a week and the next Sunday it was back to 90 degrees!
It has been so exciting these past couple of weeks working with the coaches. They finished the curriculum, but most exciting was that the last chapter was on having a new life in Christ.
Our testimony times, during our meetings, usually last 5 minutes, but recently I didn't want to stop after 40 minutes. Each person had a story to share of how a student stopped smoking, decided to no longer practice homosexuality, or made the decision to wait until marriage to have sex.
The room was electric as they were sharing. One right after another and then back again. I haven't ever seem them like they were. Joseph (pictured above) shared how he had the opportunity to lead some students to Christ! God has definitely moved this year.
Having four people making dinner at the same problem poses some problems. Especially when the only two of the four burners work when the oven is on. But I guess our biggest issue is the toaster. Where to plug it in? We found a solution, although it may not be the safest!
What does expired really mean? In reality, it just means that it isn't at the preferred consistency for eating. But preferred to who? Many Basotho drink soured milk and they enjoy it. So expired to me is actually the preferred time. I've come to terms with expired items after living in South Africa. Many times items on the shelves at the grocery store will be expired. I used to care, but not so much any more. Just this morning I ate a Kellogg's Pop-tart that "expired" in January 2008, over a year and a half ago.
It tasted just fine, which is kinda scary. Oh well, when you want an American treat, you eat it, even if it expired years before.
Late last night, I welcomed my new housemate, Jace, home. It's great seeing her passion for what God is doing here and everything He has planned. It's always strange trying to figure out how to cook in a small kitchen with four people, making a new shower schedule, and learning each other's quirks all over again. Even though having another person in the house is sometimes difficult, it is fun having another person to spend time with and she brings a new energy to the house!
My car is fixed and so Aimee and I took it out to celebrate. We drove a little over an hour to another small town nearby and spent our day relaxing. Why would we drive an hour to another small town you ask? Well take a look:
Yes, we drove an hour for goodies. But luckily we were able to make a full day out of it by eating at and Irish Pub and Grill and watching a movie. It was a day well spent and tonight we finish it off with a game night with some of the staff here. Gotta love those kinds of days!
Even though it was 9:30 at night I still stopped by and ordered and BigMac. I couldn't help it. It just tastes so good. And then I even set my alarm so that I would be up in time to eat a Sausage Egg McMuffin. Sad, but true. My stomach ran my schedule for the day. It's not every day that I have the opportunity to eat at McDonalds and so when I'm in Johannesburg, I try and stop in to say hi to Ronald. The food and atmosphere are the same, bright yellow and red decor, screaming kids in the play area, and of course the identical smell of greasy fries. (Which they still call fries, even though everywhere else in South Africa they are called chips). It is as I'm just transported back to America for a little bit. Maybe that's why I crave it so much!
It has been awhile since I posted last. Life goes by so quickly and before you know it, it has been two weeks. My days have been full, but not long. I had the chance to teach the coaches three days this past week. I love teaching them. I feel in my element. I feel so alive. I live for when they grasp a concept on leadership or feel more confident in how they can communicate a difficult topic to their students. This is why I am here.
This past weekend before the weather changed to bitterly cold, it was actually decent. A few of us staff headed out to the nearby National Park, Royal Natal. The area is beautiful, even in the winter time when it's brown.
On our hike we encountered Baboons. They are pretty scarey in person. They actually attach humans and so we sang songs and carried rocks to throw at them if they got to close. Life is strange. I never though I would write that last sentence, but there it is.
I'm asked a lot what the weather is like here. Well, I thought I'd share what happend yesterday:
My bedroom was in the low 50's when I awoke and 2 hours of heat blasting it had only risen to a mere 62. Apparently I live in the coldest country of Africa, in the coldest province of said country, and very likely one of the coldest areas of the province. So unfortunate! Hopefully it will be back to semi cold the rest of the week!
While visiting the Sangoma,the young girls did a few traditional dances for us. None of these dances are for consulting the dead, they are just part of tradition. Kelly and I wanted to learn how they danced like that and so we pulled a few of the girls off to the side to ask. They began to show us and within 20 seconds the drum was going and everyone was singing and circling us. I guess it wasn't as off to the side as we were hoping. Oh well! Hope you enjoy!
The people were so excited to see us trying. They dressed us in the traditional outfit, with a grass skirt, beaded headband, and beaded necklace.
In Basotho culture, young girls were a grass skirt until they hit puberty. They then receive an animal skin over top of the grass skirt. Once they are married, they receive another skin that covers their chest and back.
I have been trying to dye my hair darker for the past, hmm year, and each time it comes out lighter. The lady that does it for me keeps saying she doesn't know why. I finally took it in my own hands and used a box dye. What do you think?
Before:
After:
I really like it. It finally is what I've been wanting. I'm still trying to decide if I should put in highlights or not. They came with the box and I can't make up my mind so I decided to save them for another day.
Most weeks in my life are relatively the same. I know what to expect when and each week generally takes on the same schedule. This rule applies for most of the year. When I'm driving mission teams to the village for their ministry my week schedule becomes a little tricky, but generally stays the same. Here is a look at my schedule. This was taken back in March, but like I said, it hasn't changed much:
I like to color code. Green is for discipleship classes. Black are either coach classes or meetings. The brown writing is ministry related actives. Red squares are pay days (for the coaches). And orange is staff or personal information!
Being pretty far from any form of entertainment we have found good ways to have fun. About every to every other month we have a party. Not just a get together, but a full blown party. We decorate the house, dress in costumes, make appetizers, main dishes, desserts, and do anything and everything in between. Well since there aren't enough holidays in America to celebrate we steal from other cultures. May is known for Cincode Mayo around here. Cincode Mayo is a Mexican holiday celebrating the unlikely victory in the battle unlikely over French forces at the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862. (According to Wikipedia). Well this year was no different. Confetti, chili lights, fried ice cream and even a pinata! We had a good time:
You are probably wondering why the weird face. Well what you really can't read is the sign in the reeds. Here it is blown up:
That's right. It says, "DANGER HIPPOS." Although Hippos eat plants, they are one of the most dangerous animals in Africa. They are very territorial. I don't know what the little fence is supposed to do behind me, because it definitely won't keep out a charging hippo. But hey, I guess you have to hang the sign somewhere!
This last month, my department of the ministry has been pretty slow. The schools had break and so most of the ministry work I normal do was put on hold. This gave me some free time, which was very welcomed! Since minstry related work was fairly light I took a vacation. My housemate, Kelly, and I headed to the beach. We spent four days in the sun or at the movie theater. Even though the weather wasn't hot enough to swim and most of the time we had to leave our clothes on, it was so great to just nap in the sand. It was a much needed and refreshing break.
One of my favorite moments was having the opportunity to go to an English speaking church service. It felt like I was back in the States. We had worship with about 200 other people all singing English songs that I knew. It refreshed my soul. You don't know how lucky you are to have a great home church until you leave.
Today is the coldest morning that it has been so far this year. Without indoor heating except for the use of space heaters the house can be very cold. My alarm clock has the temperature on it and this morning in my bedroom it was 54 degrees F. It's funny though because I'm getting used to it being chilly in the house. When I first arrived 70 was cold and now when it is 68 in my bedroom I don't need a sweatshirt or blanket. The body is amazing at adapting. With the constant space heater on my room tends to become very dry and so this year I splurged on an electric blanket for my bed. It is wonderful! I don't know why I didn't buy it two years ago.
Driving mission teams on the weekends definitly has some perks. For instance I get to take up close pictures of lion cubs like these two. I actually had to crawl in their cave like den to take this one. Good thing they were seperated from their mother!
Do you want to be part of what God is doing here in South Africa, but are not able to come at this time? You can donate to help me stay here and disciple the Basotho. You can donate online or by check. If you donate by check please make checks payable to Covenant Global Evangelism and mark Cassie Phillips clearly on the memo line. You can then send check to the following address:
Covenant Global Evangelism | PO Box 367 | Eaton, OH 45320
Yes, we drove an hour for goodies. But luckily we were able to make a full day out of it by eating at and Irish Pub and Grill and watching a movie. It was a day well spent and tonight we finish it off with a game night with some of the staff here. Gotta love those kinds of days!
I like to color code. Green is for discipleship classes. Black are either coach classes or meetings. The brown writing is ministry related actives. Red squares are pay days (for the coaches). And orange is staff or personal information!-761924.JPG)
Being pretty far from any form of entertainment we have found good ways to have fun. About every to every other month we have a party. Not just a get together, but a full blown party. We decorate the house, dress in costumes, make appetizers, main dishes, desserts, and do anything and everything in between. Well since there aren't enough holidays in America to celebrate we steal from other cultures. May is known for 
You are probably wondering why the weird face. Well what you really can't read is the sign in the reeds. Here it is blown up:
That's right. It says, "DANGER HIPPOS." Although Hippos eat plants, they are one of the most dangerous animals in Africa. They are very territorial. I don't know what the little fence is supposed to do behind me, because it 
This last month, my department of the ministry has been pretty slow. The schools had break and so most of the ministry work I normal do was put on hold. This gave me some free time, which was very welcomed! Since minstry related work was fairly light I took a vacation. My housemate, Kelly, and I headed to the beach. We spent four days in the sun or at the movie theater. Even though the weather wasn't hot enough to swim and most of the time we had to leave our clothes on, it was so great to just nap in the sand. It was a much needed and refreshing break.
But then again, they are just big cats!
